:: Love the way you lie ::

Humans have evolved to lie well, and no doubt you’ve seen the social lubrication at work.  In many cases, we might not think of it as a true lie well perhaps a ‘white lie’  occasionally, the omission of a sensitive detail here and there, false encouragement of others when we see no benefit in dashing someone’s hopes, and the list goes on.

As I mentioned on my FB stats couple of days back that I sugar coat truths so it doesn’t sound bitter,  I actually do,  if those are considered lies, then those lies I tell are meant for the purpose of sparing people discomfort,  for these are the lies that most often tempt me.

And they tend to be the only lies that good people tell while imagining that they are being good in the process.

I remember a friend’s story.  Once he was using his mobile while driving and when he saw a traffic officer he threw the phone away and drove panically, the officer stopped him few meters away and asked if he was using his mobile, he startled, and the officer had to ask again if he was using his mobile while driving, he was contemplating whether to lie or to tell the truth.  But he chose to admit.  He did.  And the police issued him a ticket and said if he pays within a month he will only have to pay 70 ringgit instead of 200 ringgit (I can’t quite remember the figure). 

  

The exact feeling he had then was happy.  Happy that he didn't have to lie and regretting it afterward.   It may take care of the present, but it has no future.  He said, big or small, a lie is a lie.  Tell a lie once and all your truths become questionable. 

One of my omission of truths (that’s how I like to put it) is that I am not being frank to my parents about my present.  It breaks me up.  It does, because if I tell the truth, I don’t have to remember anything.  And because one lie will lead to another.  But if I am to tell the truth, there are lots of consequences to bear on to.  One thing will lead to another as well.

"Truthfulness is one of the pillars on which the moral survival of the world depends. It is the foundation of praiseworthy characteristics, the foundation of prophethood, the result of taqwah."  

The Creator of mankind, told us in the 96th chapter of His Quran; "Lies, aggression and hostility come from the prefrontal lobe of the brain (behind the forehead)".   Fourteen hundred years before Sigmund Freud existed.

What do I do?

At this moment I have that BEP song stuck in my head.  Annoying giler I tell you. 

:: My bookshelf ::

I have a bookshelf for a heart, and ink runs through my veins.
I write about you in my story, with the typewriter I hold in my brain.
My bookshelf is getting crowded with all the stories that I have penned, of all the people who flicked through my pages, but close it before the end.
But there is one book which one read to the very back, but it sits there collecting dust.
With its big title, "The One I Put My Trust".
There is this one book I scare to open, and there is one I never close.
Stories of every person I have met, stays there on the endless row.
Some people have only a sentence to tell, while some held the biggest part.
And thousands of inky footprints, that they have left across my heart.
You might wonder why I penned this down, well I just hope that one day, I will mean enough for you to write about me too.

:: 27th March 2011 ::

My blog of 27th March 2011 puts a wide grin on my face.

Because, since that date, I have changed my phone many times.

Gadgets.  You just can't escape from it can't ya?

:: So, There Was This Guy ... ::

... who's a friend to my brother, who has a cousin brother who knew a guy.

So this guy, who has a cousin whose friend is a friend to my brother who caught up himself in a very difficult situation. 

He has pictures of him showing off his packs to public over one social networking site.  Pretty decent ones though.  He happens to be a gym instructor who has a set of really swell pack.

For someone who is not easily fall for any girl he had came across with, he finally fell for this lady he met over the net.  Her profile said she's twenty something.  She had her pictures posted but there were none of her face.  Looked kinda petite but has a smoking body.

She was sweet but a little naughty, she started showing off a little more of her flesh.  Her up-there and her down-south, but still, none of her face.  He's in love lust.  He gotten more excited and sent her a picture of his rack.

After many moons he thought that they ought to meet and finally one night over a game, they decided to meet up in one of the diners.  He waited for quite a while but the girl he's in-lust with hasn't shown up.  He saw a girl he recognised from his neighbourhood approached her and he said hi and asked if she's there with her parents.  She leaned over and whispered to him, she's there to meet him.  She's THE girl he's developed a net-relationship with.  And she's just 16.  He's been swapping nude pictures with a jailbait junky.

She pulled his hand and lead him out straight to his car.  She knew where he had parked his car!!!  And later he realised that they were driving in his car towards his house.  Upon entering the house, he quickly locked all doors and pulled down all curtains.  She walked towards him and stood a few breaths away.  Shaking, he waited in wonder what will happen next.

But anyway, I'm keeping the juicy stuffs to myself now.  You're not interested to know anyhow.

They had sex that night.  They did.  And another encounter after two months.  And another one, the last one, few weeks after.

He was conflicted over how he felt about her.  Would she turn him in?  Could she?

He then hasn't seen her ever since.  Until one day while was washing his car, his next door neighbour asked if he heard the news about her family.

He shook his had and the neighbour started to spill that she was found pregnant and his dad confessed to having sex with her.  They arrested him and he pleaded guilty and was serving his time.  Her mom sold the house and sent her off somewhere far.

He excused himself and went inside and closed the door behind him.

That could be him!!! He could be arrested.  He was so close to screwing up his life for sex.

- The end -

:: I Don't Write Enough ::

I normally write at night, using my lappy.  In a very loose clothes.  Where I can think of words to say loosely.  On my bed particularly, after all things are settled while listening to one particular music and the room temperature would be at around 21°, with a cup of tea and a bowl of cold cereal.  That'd be my reason if I allow my nutty brain runs the show. It has been running the show since last year that ended me up with few books I bought but never found time to read, including this one pretty thick Malay novel, which was a mistake.  A huge mistake.  But it was on Popular 25% sale.  I couldnt help.  Besides (this was my FB stats cuppla days back) happiness is the smell of a new book. 

So yeah back to my rationalizations, I'm just too lazy to blog of late.   Everything seems to fall into places.  The puzzles are fitting in just perfectly.  I write better when I'm upset.  Not that I haven't been upset since the last time I wrote (was September last year, its almost a year), I did get upset, especially every morning while driving Alyssa to school, with the influx of idiots on the road, for example this morning, there was this person on a Persona, I was on the farthest right lane, I already gave a signal to chip myself in to the left lane (I saw that personA on my rear mirror was quite far) the farthest left lane was empty.  No vehicle at all, this personA had to drive a bit fast just to not let me cut in in front.  He or she couldav just drove on the most left lane.  We can all be happy.  They just couldnt make any sense.  So I made a conclusion, half the drivers on the road were in the bottom half of those who did graduate from their driving lessons.  You can stop wondering how many times it took them to pass their road test. 

Again, back to my rationalizations,  the work is piling up.  I wanted to move out from the office (to be transferred) to another place but my application was rejected.  A little frustrated but suffice it to say there were a lot of politics/ red tape involved.  Being where I am right now, I should be grateful enough.  Its not easy for one to get a good job and good pay.  Not getting a lot but it's enough to support me and my kid. 

Alyssa's too taking much of my time.  She's now in her primary 3.  Has a lot of evidences to fill in.  Her homework everyday is outta this world.  My fault too.  I wanted her to go to a cluster school.  I got her out from a normal school to another school.  As you know clustering does not only filling in a classroom with a fraction of the student of highest performers in grades but also the ability to cope with other co-curriculum activities.   And she's keeping up with few now.  In order to make sure she's keeping up with stuffs, I gotta keep up with her stuffs as well.  So, yeah.

Nothing new in life.  I'm still the old me.  Doing the everyday routine.  I wake up every morning and be awesome.

I have so many reasons if I were to give one.

Not saying that I'm back for good.  I'm only saying that I purely miss blogging.