:: Do People Still Read Blogs? ::

People have left blogs for other platforms I think.  It's not writers block or lack of motivation or productivity.  People nowadays prefer quick reads.  Their brain slowly shows the sign of apathy for lengthy posts.  Hence we see people skipping the content and depending only on the headlines or they only read what they wanted to read.

I have not been here for quite sometimes, the last I post was two years back, during the pandemic.  Thou it was not a story about the disease.  This place seems so quiet and many, yes many has left blogging (the ones I know, especially).  

I think I'm gonna start again, because one thing I am very certain, thru blogs I can craft anything about myself, my thoughts and ideas. A bit leeway in adding views.  I can be anonymous.  Nobody knows me if they were to judge.  It's endless.   I have a lot lingering, in fact I have a lot drafted that I have not posted.  Not yet.

One problem thou, is that to create great writing skills and content that keeps people engaged (and returning for more).

Well, I'll think of something.

She's a haughty

I've got the spelling correct.

Not a hotty but a haughty.

She quietly came into the office and look around like she's looking for someone and when I asked whom she's looking for she didn't even answered.  I noticed that she was looking at me through the corner of her eyes.  The peripheral thingy, you know. Like a side glance.  A quick one. She didn't exactly move her eyes or head, but I could tell that she was calculating my move. With a straight face.

I looked at her every step.  Waiting if she would answer.  And she just walked past my room without turning her head to me let alone saying hi.

That was not the first time she did that to me.

Once, me and my colleague were standing right infront of the tennis court, we saw her walking towards us but she wasnt looking right at us.  With her usual straight face. We waited for her to say hi but she did not.  We were afraid to even move our lips.  She made a straight face, what do you expect?  After she passed, my colleague asked "what's up with her?" and I replied with a shrug.  That was not the first time I shrugged everytime people ask me what's wrong with her.  Seriously. It could probably damage my rotator cuff.

I have tried taking it positively, mind you, I did.  I have thought that she might not see me.  I have also thought that she might having a sprain in the neck that she could not turn around. I have thought maybe, just maybe, that I have wronged her, unintentionally.  Well if it was the latter, I expect her to point it out, or else I would never know.  Coz I too have my pride.

"You either say how you feel and fuck it up or say nothing and let it fuck you up instead."

Do you have any better idea than I go and ask her?

2017

There are those who have the words, but not the feelings, and then, there are those who have the feelings but could not find the words.

Expectations (Vol 1)

I wanted to pen this down as what it was said and how it was delivered.  In order to do that, I gotta be quick before I forget.  This comes in two different postings altogether.

  

Just recently, a guy friend approached me and asked what I expect in marriage.

I paused a little while before answering because I have so many expectations and I also thought that it might be a tricky question.  Now I'm not gonna lie and agree with the cheesy clichés that goes "Love Without Expectations".  That's just bullshit.  When you started to have feelings for someone, the expectations just evolve. 

I’ll list you down some of my expectations. 

I expect conflicts.  Because there are conflicts, there will be.  Something I know I just cant run myself away from.  There will always be something to argue on.  Might be as little as who switch the lights off at night.

I expect to be annoyed.  Because he’s not perfect and neither am I.  Some of the stuff when I’m in dating stage might thought it is small insignificant stuff but when I’m out there in “real world” when I’m in the sudden-realization-moment.  Which is alright I think, because I should just focus on his distinctive good qualities.

I would expect some delays.  Which is pretty much happening right now.  Some things just do not follow the schedules.  And when you eventually get there, there are some other delays too.  

I expect disappointments.  The maths goes expectations + dormant = disappointments. 

I expect to think I’m doing more.  I might be feeling that I’m doing more in keeping the relationship stable, more texting, more talking, more calling, more waiting for him to reply to my text — you get the idea.  But someone has to do something first.  Someone has to start.  It’s either him or me.

I expect to be with him until the end. It’s mental safety net thingy.  Even when I’m furious at him or extremely frustrated, I will not think of leaving.  This expectation also helps me realize that I might as well make my relationship as good as it can be because I’m in it for the long haul.

Expectations are there for you to meet.

To be continued…

Terrible Me

Felt terrible yesterday.

I was so mean to my part-time assistant.  Alright the story went like this...

I was away in KL the day before yesterday and upon coming back to the office, I saw a stack of documents needed to be signed.  Apart from that, there were exactly twenty two letters and the fun part was, she put all the appendices that needed to be attached together with the letter on my desk.  The whole lot of it.  After I signed the letters, called her up and asked her to deliver the letter and I did ask why did she put all the attachments on my desk.  There were three thick appendices and twenty two copies each.

She replied merrily "Owh saya letak terus supaya senang kalau Madam nak post terus tak payah mintak dari saya dah."  

I suddenly wasn't sure how the system works.

Now, the boss has to put the letters including all attachments inside an envelop and send it off?  Should it not be the other way around?

Hangen.

I bit back "Please remind me why I hired you."

The face of 22 year old girl reddened.

After awhile I felt guilty.  (Which I know I shouldn't)

However, today, I know why I was so pissed off.

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