Expectations (Vol 1)

I wanted to pen this down as what it was said and how it was delivered.  In order to do that, I gotta be quick before I forget.  This comes in two different postings altogether.

  

Just recently, a guy friend approached me and asked what I expect in marriage.

I paused a little while before answering because I have so many expectations and I also thought that it might be a tricky question.  Now I'm not gonna lie and agree with the cheesy clichés that goes "Love Without Expectations".  That's just bullshit.  When you started to have feelings for someone, the expectations just evolve. 

I’ll list you down some of my expectations. 

I expect conflicts.  Because there are conflicts, there will be.  Something I know I just cant run myself away from.  There will always be something to argue on.  Might be as little as who switch the lights off at night.

I expect to be annoyed.  Because he’s not perfect and neither am I.  Some of the stuff when I’m in dating stage might thought it is small insignificant stuff but when I’m out there in “real world” when I’m in the sudden-realization-moment.  Which is alright I think, because I should just focus on his distinctive good qualities.

I would expect some delays.  Which is pretty much happening right now.  Some things just do not follow the schedules.  And when you eventually get there, there are some other delays too.  

I expect disappointments.  The maths goes expectations + dormant = disappointments. 

I expect to think I’m doing more.  I might be feeling that I’m doing more in keeping the relationship stable, more texting, more talking, more calling, more waiting for him to reply to my text — you get the idea.  But someone has to do something first.  Someone has to start.  It’s either him or me.

I expect to be with him until the end. It’s mental safety net thingy.  Even when I’m furious at him or extremely frustrated, I will not think of leaving.  This expectation also helps me realize that I might as well make my relationship as good as it can be because I’m in it for the long haul.

Expectations are there for you to meet.

To be continued…

Terrible Me

Felt terrible yesterday.

I was so mean to my part-time assistant.  Alright the story went like this...

I was away in KL the day before yesterday and upon coming back to the office, I saw a stack of documents needed to be signed.  Apart from that, there were exactly twenty two letters and the fun part was, she put all the appendices that needed to be attached together with the letter on my desk.  The whole lot of it.  After I signed the letters, called her up and asked her to deliver the letter and I did ask why did she put all the attachments on my desk.  There were three thick appendices and twenty two copies each.

She replied merrily "Owh saya letak terus supaya senang kalau Madam nak post terus tak payah mintak dari saya dah."  

I suddenly wasn't sure how the system works.

Now, the boss has to put the letters including all attachments inside an envelop and send it off?  Should it not be the other way around?

Hangen.

I bit back "Please remind me why I hired you."

The face of 22 year old girl reddened.

After awhile I felt guilty.  (Which I know I shouldn't)

However, today, I know why I was so pissed off.

hashtag benderajepun

Our Krik Krik Krik Moment

This happened few months back.

Alyssa and her Dad invited me for lunch at Black Canyon.  Just the three of us.  And I accepted.

It was Sunday afternoon, the place was crowded with people, like always.  Upon arrival I saw them two was sitting at the end corner that faced the glass wall.  Alyssa was grinning upon seeing me and I sat next to her.  I ordered pasta.  I couldn't remember what my ex ordered but I remember Alyssa had club sandwiches and chicken wings.

Alyssa did most of the talking and me did most of the eating.  She told her Dad about her school stuffs and her best bud Awatif and Nabihah.  She told him that she didn't do well in her Permata Pintar Negara quiz last year but this year she's gonna resit it again and try to get herself in.  Permata Pintar is a programme organized by University Kebangsaan Malaysia which is in search of gifted children.  Each kid that selected has to go through each different level.  To summarize the programme, those gifted kids will be groomed by UKM.  These kids need to pass Ujian UKM1, Ujian UKM2, successfully attended and completed School Holiday Camp (PCS), and Ujian UKM3 in order to be selected to join Kolej Permata Pintar.  There're lotta Ujians needed to be passed. 

"Daddy tau tak, Mama nak kawin dengan orang nama Zam."  she blurted out whiletalking about herself and eating.

Krik... krik... krik...

"Finish your food Alyssa."  said her Daddy, tried hard not to look like he's trying hard not to laugh.

We never discuss of this ever again.

Work In Progress

Why is it so hard to draw a perfect nose?  Darn.

Testing One Two Three (Revisited)

I shared this the other day but the picture didn't appear on the post.

I did this while waiting for Alyssa to finish her homework.  My first attempt of drawing and coloring altogether.  I have never been good in drawing.  It turned out to be quite impressive (syok sendiri) with a little improvement needed.  I joined a close group on FB called Coloring for Adults - Malaysia ASEAN, posted this picture there and gotten myself quite a number of remarkable 'likes' (including Johanna Basford).

Until I found myself a new diversion,  I'm gonna continue doing this.

Lukis sendiri + kaler sendiri = syok sendiri. 