:: Tread Softly ::

HAD I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light

I would spread the cloths under your feet,
But I, being poor, have only my dreams,
I have spread my dreams under your feet,
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams

W.B. Yeats

:: First post of 2011 ::

I’m letting myself feeling the greatest amount possible.

When broken, I’m letting myself feel every piece of that grief.  Absorbing the purest of pain.  Cry with sad songs on, I overeat or I don’t eat at all.  I lie in bed all day, call a friend sobbing.  Messing up with my sleeping pattern, and write depressing entries that if anyone else got a hold of would probably call a suicide hotline for me.

I let it all out.   Because I’m sure I’ll be happy again someday.

Right now, I’m at my best, I dance in my bedroom, laugh out until I can’t breathe, sing annoying song at the top of my lungs, take a million pictures especially in my mind and smirking around like an idiot. I so treasure these moments.  Because I know, I’ll be sad again, soon.

And right now I live despite what I have or haven’t done, whom I’ve lost along the way, and though there is always going to be someone like Agent Smith in The Matrix movie series in this world. I just live life like I’m going to be squished by Godzilla tomorrow. I live as if I’m about to randomly spontaneously combust. Taking it all in.

But there’s only one thing, in chance that flaming meteors started hitting the earth right this moment, I “couldn’t” have that someone (well, you know) I could call up just to say ‘Hey, Can I hold you a little closer today because I heard the zombies are going to attack or its gonna be a nuclear explosions or something?’ 

Or saying the simple three words ‘I love you’.

My point is, people, I don't have one a point.  I just wanted to wish Happy New Year!!!



 

:: Just My Cup of Tea ::

So I was told that drinking too much of tea bad for your health. The thing is I gotta have tea at least once a day and not having it will make my life – dull.  Its like all work and no play for Jill.  Just like to those coffee bugs.

So this is what I found through my reads -  It contains Tanine, a toxic element that disturbs the digestion process as the secretion of juices is affected by it. Tanine affects the water content in the body, as a result of which the skin becomes brittle and rough.

It contains caffeine, which is detrimental to health. It affects the nervous system and keeps a person awake at night (I didnt know that, I thought tea has calming effect). It can also raise blood pressure. Excessive caffeine can also cause poor concentration, irritability and nervousness.  I totally agree on the poor concentration part.  

Those who are predisposed to frequent attacks of heartburn and stomach ulcers should avoid too much of green tea. It can aggravate the condition.

Just like coffee it's addictive.

It is! And I’m an addict!  Truly deeply do.

p/s:  I haven't had my tea for two days now.  

:: This Change is Inevitable ::

I was looking for some cool backgrounds for the blog when I found this.  Fell in love with the colors and changed the background again.  Its kinda cool for my personality I suppose, with lotsa dots.  

Thank God for people like them that create awesome templates for lazy and useless people like me. :D

And this one is for you Andrea since you complained sakit mata :P

:: Things you dont know wont harm you ::

Very true indeed.

I cant sleep.  Obviously as i never blogged at this odd hour.

Earlier today I was at the hospital spent my time at the PCU.  It never bothered me to find out the meaning of PCU, really.  I walked passed that ward many times before but I never asked anybody that I know that do know what PCU is.  And today I did.

Palliative Care Unit.  I was there yesterday too.  Seeing a patient with testicular carcinoma.  Yeah okay, I know what testicular is but carcinoma is really Greek to me.  And P in PCU stands for palliative - how could i have missed that? The ward has like lots of beds and even has extension beds next to each other.  Imagine - the number of dying people is enormous. 

He's a very cooperative kid.  A 19 year old.  And only has 6 months max to live.  The cancer I was told later has spread to his lung.  And stupid me thought it was just like hernia or something.  I was with him talking and sharing thoughts and laughing at the book he was reading (a malay novel - cheesy stuff) and little do I know he only has few months to live. 

After maghrib prayer, I didnt realize that I cried on the prayer mat.  Prayed to God, if He is to take his life, please make it painless.  

And now I cant sleep and his face is haunting my awake mind.  As I'm blogging this out,  I have tears in my eyes. 

I do wish I have a power to heal.

And now I know why I'm not a doctor.