When broken, I’m letting myself feel every piece of that grief. Absorbing the purest of pain. Cry with sad songs on, I overeat or I don’t eat at all. I lie in bed all day, call a friend sobbing. Messing up with my sleeping pattern, and write depressing entries that if anyone else got a hold of would probably call a suicide hotline for me.
I let it all out. Because I’m sure I’ll be happy again someday.
Right now, I’m at my best, I dance in my bedroom, laugh out until I can’t breathe, sing annoying song at the top of my lungs, take a million pictures especially in my mind and smirking around like an idiot. I so treasure these moments. Because I know, I’ll be sad again, soon.
And right now I live despite what I have or haven’t done, whom I’ve lost along the way, and though there is always going to be someone like Agent Smith in The Matrix movie series in this world. I just live life like I’m going to be squished by Godzilla tomorrow. I live as if I’m about to randomly spontaneously combust. Taking it all in.
But there’s only one thing, in chance that flaming meteors started hitting the earth right this moment, I “couldn’t” have that someone (well, you know) I could call up just to say ‘Hey, Can I hold you a little closer today because I heard the zombies are going to attack or its gonna be a nuclear explosions or something?’
Or saying the simple three words ‘I love you’.
My point is, people, I don't have
and for u... surah 94: verse 5 and 6.
ReplyDeleteit's hard. but there is always relief. twice mentioned.
surah apa ni? cepat dapat jodoh? hehe
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year, Miss Dottie. May 2011 bring you the man of your dreams.
ReplyDeletedont cry because it's over.
ReplyDeleteinstead,
smile because it happened.
:)
be strong.
Where's the "Like" button?
ReplyDeleteLet's sama-sama survive another year!
Happy New Year to you too Andrea and amen!!! :D
ReplyDeleteI'm a girl with muscle Lil Ain, :D thanks.
Birthie jom we write to Blogger for some features improvement. But not too fancy as FB though, I dont think I have that much time. :D To 2011!!
Must ask TD for his comment box script. His comments box very canggih. Got "Like" button and can also rank comments by "Most popular" etc.
ReplyDeleteHappy new year to you too...
ReplyDeleteHey I could be that someone (oh well i give myself wayyyyy too much credit :P )
Abuuuu, like really? Like really really? :P
ReplyDeleteandrea... if u cant wait, u can get it at disqus.com but if u can wait, i'll cook out a comment script that has the 'like u long time' button.
ReplyDeleteBirthie! I like that too! :)
ReplyDeleteBirthie,
ReplyDeleteActually I was contemplating between Birthie and Marko. But I decided Birthie sounds more civilized.
yours truly
dim sum
*giggles*
TeaD u better fry that one quick coz i need to hit someone with that 'like u long time' button real hard.
ReplyDeleteYeah .. like really really... hahahaha
ReplyDeleteI just realize, how did you know my name when i don't even know yours??? did i ever mention it before???
The heart sees what is invisible to the eyes. hahaha.... spookey now isnt it?
ReplyDeleteI read somewhere in your blog la. Lagi mau tanya!
Marko too macho for me la. ;)
ReplyDeleteBirthie's a good choice! It really "touch my heart", dim. :)
Aw shucks!!!
ReplyDelete*blushes*